


Knit, Purl, Stab

by lbswasp



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Background Relationships, Gen, Knitting, Knives, Really expensive yarn, Rosa being awesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 03:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13285701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lbswasp/pseuds/lbswasp
Summary: Rosa investigates a robbery at a yarn shop, and winds up with a new hobby. Just because she makes cuddly things, it does not mean that she likes cuddles.After all, knitting needles are just weapons you can legally carry into basically everywhere.





	Knit, Purl, Stab

**Author's Note:**

> [7A WF 83429](http://archiveofourown.org/works/562412) is the name of a really good Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers fic by [victoria_p](http://archiveofourown.org/users/musesfool/pseuds/victoria_p) in the Marvel verse. I stole the title because I needed the name of a form, though please note the two forms are very, very different and are used for very different things.
> 
> Very different.
> 
> Rosa is going to stab me.
> 
> I got Vicuña and Manuosh from [this list](http://ambassadorcrochet.com/2016/02/26/5-most-expensive-luxury-yarns/) of expensive yarns, and more detail about Manuosh from their [Etsy](http://www.etsy.com/shop/MANUOSH). 
> 
> I also did my best to figure out what knives are legal in New York. If I have managed to get this wrong, please let me know in the comments and make a suggestion of what knife should be used instead :-)
> 
> And no, I don’t knit. I prefer to crochet, but I decided knitting was more Rosa’s speed. So if I have wildly misrepresented knitting in this fic...sorry.
> 
> Beta'd by the excellent [brookebond](http://archiveofourown.org/users/brookebond/pseuds/brookebond).

It all started innocently enough.

“Diaz, there’s a B&E down on Kent Street. I’m assigning it to you,” said Captain Holt when he called Rosa into his office. “It’s an establishment called _Spindle & Twine_. Uniforms are already there.”

“Yes sir,” nodded Rosa as she turned to go. 

“Oh, and take Hitchcock with you. He’s been pining since Scully left for Montreal with Peralta and Boyle.”

Rosa grabbed the folder and leafed through it. It seemed like a fairly simple smash and grab. Shouldn’t take too long to solve. She collected Hitchcock (who was, indeed, sulking) and grabbed one of the precinct cars to drive over to Kent. She wasn’t going to try and take Hitchcock on her bike. He’d never come near her again since the Señor Tickles incident. Which meant the idiot wouldn’t hold on. Which meant he’d fall off. Which meant he’d get hurt.

There was a lot of paperwork involved if you damaged another cop. Rosa had filled out 7A WF 83429 once. It had taken 7 hours. She had more important things to do with her time — like trying to figure out the Captain’s brainteaser.

* * *

_Spindle & Twine_ turned out to be a combination yarn shop and cafe. With all it’s windows smashed, it’s coffee machine lying on the floor, and balls of yarn unravelled all over the place.

Hitchcock started to poke around in a glum, uninterested manner, while the uniforms pointed Rosa to the owner of the store, Reija Kivi. Reija was a tiny woman with bright blue eyes, an impressively pointed green mohawk, and watercolour-style rose tattoos crawling up her arms and neck. She was staring at the crime scene techs as they swarmed around her store, flashbulbs popping and fingerprint dust getting everywhere.

“Shit, this clean up is going to take forever,” she groaned, popping her gum as Rosa approached.

“Ms. Kivi? I’m Detective Rosa Diaz of the Nine-Nine. Can you think of anyone who might want to harm your business?”

“I bet it’s Maege. Maege Winter, from _Cotton & Cord_. She used to work here but we had a disagreement over yarn bombing as craftivism and she rage quit and opened her own store over on Newel.”

“What makes you suspect her?”

“See the yarn all over the floor? None of it is my Vicuña, or my Manuosh. Those yarns are missing entirely.” Reija smacked her gum as if to underline her point.

“What’s special about those?” asked Rosa, making notes on her pad.

“Oh, nothing really, apart from the fact that they retail for $200 a skein.”

“$200 a...skein?” Rosa asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“$200 a ball, yeah. The Vicuña comes from a rare wild animal in South America that is batshit difficult to shear, and the Manuosh is cruelty-free and ethically produced and sourced upstate. And they are nowhere to be found.”

“Are you sure?”

“Honey, do I look like I don’t know my yarns?” Reija said as she smacked her gum. “Trust me, they are gone. It can’t be random. Only another yarn-head would know what they look like, and by the Goddess, Maege is the only one in the neighbourhood that would go for this. The old biddies at _A Stitch in Time_ wouldn’t do something like this, they’re both like 100 years old, nor would Gary from _Deadly Knitshade_. He’s far too cool for this.”

“We’ll have to check them out, of course.”

“Yeah, yeah, gotta run down all the leads, I’ve seen SVU, I know how it works.”

Rosa gritted her teeth and tried to remain patient. “Was anything else taken?” That was polite enough, right? The Captain and Sarge had both yelled at her recently for being rude to civilians. She’d like to make it through a week without getting yelled at again. She was a badass, not a bitch.

“Not that I could spot immediately, but once your guys have finished making the mess work I’ll do inventory.”

“Was there any cash on the premises?”

“No, I empty the till each night. I balance the float and take it home, and I bank the rest in the cash deposit ATM on the corner after I lock up.”

“Does anyone know you do that?”

“Well, Maege, because she used to work here.”

“You don’t leave any cash here overnight?”

“No, I always take the float with me. I open every morning and close every evening, and I never leave cash here.”

“You’re here all day, every day?”

“I own an artisanal yarn shop in Brooklyn. Do I look like I can afford to pay other people to open and close every day?”

“Do you have any employees?”

“Yeah, Bill and Storm. Bill is, like, the Michelangelo of arm knitting and Storm’s coffee is so good it makes linebackers weep.”

“I’ll need their names and contact details so I can follow up with them.”

Reija popped her gum. “Sure, let me grab my phone.” She gingerly picked her way across the shattered remains of her store towards the counter. Rosa made to follow her when a crash stopped them both in their tracks.

Hitchcock had managed to get himself tangled in the loom that was set up in the corner. He was shirtless, and somehow upside down.

Rosa groaned. Next time she was partnered with that idiot she was leaving him in the car.

* * *

It was a few days of digging around and interviewing various people in the Brooklyn yarn scene, but eventually Rosa arrested Maege Winter for vandalism and theft. It helped that she was clearly visible on the security cameras outside the bar across the road from _Spindle & Twine_. So visible you could make out the crowbar she used to smash the windows with. Rosa liked it when cases were this nice and neat. She wouldn’t have to go in front of a jury and stop herself from calling them all dumdums.

Rosa called Reija to give her the goods news. Maeve had been arrested and confessed, and although the stolen property would have to remain with the police until Maeve was officially sentenced, Reija would get her Vicuña and Manuosh back.

Reija was thrilled with the outcome.

So thrilled that she called Rosa back a few hours later, inviting her to a “small celebration” at the store that evening.

Rosa decided to stop by _Spindle & Twine_ on her way home. She liked Reija’s style, and it was on her way.

When Rosa got there, she found that the “small celebration” was actually a party. Of people knitting. She recognised a bunch of the people she had interviewed — such as Gary from _Deadly Knitshade_ and the old women who ran _A Stitch in Time_ — and there were a bunch of other people there. Most of them were happily drinking and knitting at the same time. She was impressed to see one blonde woman knock back half a bottle of Absolut and then calmly keep knitting.

“Detective Diaz! You made it!” A clearly tipsy Reija wandered up to Rosa. “Thanks for all the work you did.”

Rosa nodded. “It was nothing. And call me Rosa.”

“Well, it means a lot to me, Rosa. So come! Grab a drink, come knit a square.”

“A square?”

“Yeah, we are celebrating by doing some good. We’re knitting blankets to give to the local shelter. Everyone makes a square, then later some of us will sew them together. We get to celebrate by crafting, and the needy get a pile of warm blankets for the winter. Everyone wins! Come on, grab a drink, make a square.”

“I can’t knit.” Rosa tried to edge towards the door but Reija grabbed her arm in a worryingly tight grip.

“Ehhh, pretty much anyone here will be able to teach you. Jo! Jo, come teach Rosa how to knit.”

The blonde woman Rosa had noticed drinking the vodka put down her bottle and wandered over.

“Jo, this is Rosa. She was the detective who arrested Maege.”

Jo nodded at Rosa. “Good work. Never liked Maege anyway,” she drawled. Rosa couldn’t quite place her accent — somewhere mid-Western and generic.

A crash sounded from the back of the store, followed by a muffled “Sorry!” Reija left them with a huff and hurried over to see what had happened.

“So. You want to make a square?”

“I don’t know how,” shrugged Rosa.

“I can teach you,” said Jo as she pulled a knife out of her belt to cut the yarn on her finished square.

“Is that a Benchmade Presidio?”

“Yeah, like it?”

“Oh fuck yes. I’ve been saving up but those things cost.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t cheap,” said Jo as she grabbed some needles and yarn from nearby and waved Rosa into a seat.

“I didn’t realise people who liked knitting also liked knives.”

Jo snorted. “All kinds of people like knitting. It’s relaxing. Also, if you think about it, knitting needles are just weapons you can legally carry into basically everywhere.”

Rosa smiled. Maybe this would be fun after all.

* * *

It was fun. Rosa made one square (a truly sad attempt), and after burning it in a nearby trash can, made another. Jo had just nodded when Rosa had set her first square on fire. She’d been there. Rosa’s second square was much better, and it was sewn into one of the blankets the group made that night.

She got a funny feeling in her stomach when she saw that happen. Is this was doing good felt like?

Rosa kept at it after the party. She found herself visiting _Spindle & Twine_ on her way home from work some nights. Although she didn’t need more friends, she might have been becoming friends with Jo. They went to the Greater New York Knife Show together, and to a shooting range.

Rosa eventually branched out from squares and into other patterns. Nobody knew about Rosa’s new hobby until Marcus visited the Precinct one day, the scarf she had made him tucked around his neck.

“Marcus! Good to see you and your new furry friend!”

“My…? Oh, you mean my scarf.” Marcus looked down at his scarf and grinned, patting the soft lime green and orange stripes. “Thanks, my girl made it for me.”

You could have heard a pin drop as Jake’s eyes lit up. Amy scrambled to try and stop him but she was too late. “Your girl? Rosa? Rosa made that for you? Rosa can knit?!” Jake’s voice had gotten higher and higher with every question.

At that moment, Rosa walked back in from the copy room and found all eyes on her.

“Rosa, you never told me you could knit! We could have crafternoons together! You can knit, I can work on my scrapbooks —”

Rosa cut Amy off by slamming her photocopying down. “Yes, I knit. I find it soothing. No, I will not have ‘crafternoons’ with you. My hobbies are my own. Good day.”

Rosa grabbed Marcus by the scarf and pulled him out of the Precinct as he yelled “Bye Uncle Ray!”

* * *

After that, Rosa was more...open about her knitting. She still didn’t talk about it, but she did knit a super soft blanket for baby Ava that made both Terry and Sharon cry and attempt to hug her. Rosa avoided this hug by jumping over the table and running.

Just because she liked to knit cuddly things didn’t mean she was a cuddly person.

When the crew was stuck on Night Duty, Rosa started to do her knitting sitting at her desk. The rhythmic sound of the needles clicking and the steady movement of her hands proved strangely hypnotic to the rest of the Nine-Nine, who were often lulled into a daze watching her.

Eventually, it became a thing. Jake and Amy loved each other, Gina was an amazing dancer, Captain Holt liked antique globes, Terry loved yoghurt, Charles was weird about food, and Rosa knitted.

After The Incident, no one ever thought of teasing Rosa for her hobby ever again.

* * *

There was great rejoicing in the Nine-Nine one January night, for Doug Judy had been caught again. This time the case against him was solid. There were no plea bargains he could make. He’d been caught, red-handed, and handcuffed to Jake’s desk in the middle of the Precinct where everyone could keep an eye on him. 

He was craning around in the chair, trying to make eye contact with an impassive Rosa, declaring his everlasting love for her, when a kerfuffle broke out near Terry’s desk.

Two stoned pickpockets had realised they had the munchies and were fighting over the yoghurt on Terry’s desk while he tried to fend them off. The others ran over to help, and in that moment, Doug Judy managed to pick the lock on his handcuffs and was making a break for it by running along the wall towards the door to the balcony.

He didn’t get far, as Rosa reached for the closest thing she could find on her desk: a single size 6 Northern Lights Black Nickel knitting needle. Sharpened into an even sharper point than normal, because Jo had been right.

Rosa grabbed the needle and threw it. Light flared off it’s glossy black finish as it flew end-over-end through the air and hit the wall, impaling Doug Judy’s shirt and holding the Pontiac Bandit firmly in place.

Silence settled over the Nine-Nine as the pickpockets were subdued and people realised what Rosa had done.

Rosa stalked over to Doug Judy and pulled her needle out of the wall, causing him to crash to the floor. Ruthlessly she pinned him to the floor and handcuffed him again.

“If you have caused me to damage my needle I am going to take it out on you, Judy!” she snarled at him.

It was hard to make out exactly what Doug Judy said as his face was pressed into the linoleum, but most of the squad later agreed it sounded like “Marry me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi at [Tumblr ](http://www.lbswasp.tumblr.com) :-)


End file.
